The words we use often reveal something deeper and more unconscious about our reality or about ourselves than we realise. This is why learning NLP helps you to develop a better sense of where other people are coming from, simply by being conscious of the words that they use. When I teach, I remind coaches to pay attention to unconscious leakage. It is not uncommon for someone to unconsciously tell things about themselves and/or their problem by the words they use. If you listen carefully and consciously that is. This is true listening to others and about the words that we all use in everyday speech too. Take the word responsibility as an example. It reflects your ability to respond, response-ability. If you take responsibility for something it doesn’t mean that you necessarily caused the situation. Instead, it says that you are empowering yourself to do something about it. The word ‘soldier’ comes from the old French ‘soudeour’ meaning mercenary. But there was an English Civil War spelling of the word as ’souldiers’. This seems like unconscious leakage at work to me anyway. So likewise, when we use words like ‘heartbreak’, ‘warm-hearted’, ‘heartfelt’, and ‘heartless’ we are connecting with a deeper sense of wisdom that we know unconsciously resides in our hearts. It is suggestive of the idea that coming from the heart is a warmer, more empathetic, more humanistic way to be. Rather than the cold, analytical, egotistical approach of the brain. In the chakra system the heart chakra is seen as the centre of all the energy centres, and as the point of connection between higher levels of consciousness and physical reality.
When you look at the world of today with your brain you could quite easily get a little angry or depressed. Destructive conflict still rages in Ukraine; tensions simmer in the Middle East; gun violence sadness America, again; money men continue to voraciously suck more of the world’s wealth into their own pockets, whilst the rest of us tighten our belts; and Western leaders continue to look like rabbits dazzled in the headlights of world events. More and more we need to find a heart’s perspective to be able to even begin to address these issues. So how do we do that?
First of all, we need to practice connecting with our own hearts. Sit quietly, where you won’t get disturbed, breathe deeply and slowly, and then place your awareness on your heart. Become aware of your heartbeat, even place a finger on your wrist, or a hand on your chest and physically connect to your heart. As you do, breathe ‘into’ your heart, feel a deeper more loving connection to yourself. With this connection in place, consider other people, and/or situations in your life, and notice that you can find a more empathetic perspective. And notice how that feels. Then, more and more use your heart’s perspective in your life daily.
Being more loving and more empathetic doesn’t mean that you become a push over in your life either. You recognise your own warmth and self-love, and by so doing you will feel stronger. When you assess what others are doing you can notice that they too are just like you. They too can connect to a warmer more human way to live their lives, even if right now they are not choosing to do so. Face challenging people or situations from this place. After all, does ‘compassion’ mean to come-with-your-passion?
Maybe we need to move a little further from the brain and closer to the heart to address the challenges we face individually and collectively. And as you do that pay attention to your words and the words of others too. Our unconscious is talking quietly to us all the time. Maybe that way we can turn the impossible into I’m-possible.
“The first duty of love is to listen.” Paul Tillich
