A Slap or a Kiss?

 In NLP Articles, Uncategorized

I turned the radio on the other day just as a question was being asked: “Are you at war with Syria?” The answer was immediate and loaded with outrage: “We’re not!” the man said. “They are!”

Well, I don’t know about you, but I would expect better from Benjamin Netanyahu – and any world leader for that matter. As I listened to the interview, Netanyahu was pretty clear in his message. Basically, he was saying, ‘Hey, it’s not our fault. They’re doing it to us. We’re just responding in the best way we can here…’ I can see how he would believe that. People always do the best they can with the resources they have available. Sometimes, they’re limited. Whether you are a world leader or not, I think your number one mission should always be to make sure you have a wide range of all the best resources available to you. He’s obviously not doing that.

One of the most empowering resources you can develop is actually one of the first things mentioned on an NLP training: to Be at Cause for your life. Don’t be like Netanyahu, who is basically saying he’s the victim in all this and there’s nothing he can do about it; something is happening to him he doesn’t prefer, and the only way he can respond to the people apparently responsible for his troubles is in the same manner which he doesn’t prefer being done to him. That’s madness, and pretty pathetic if you ask me. The best thing you can do in life is assume full responsibility for everything that happens to you. Of course, this is not about shouldering imaginary blame or beating yourself up for the bad stuff. What it is in fact is about living from a neutral area within yourself that says, Okay, this happened. I don’t like it. How best can I respond? What can I learn from it? And what can I do now to create a different result? This is what we call the Cause & Effect equation in NLP. When you’re at Cause, you get results in your life. When you’re at Effect, you just have reasons to explain why you choose to be a victim. So, in case BN is reading this: stop! Learn what you need; decide what you would prefer; find out how to make it happen; and go do it. I think as a world leader, the least someone can do is let go of the victim mentality and step into response-ability.

Anyway, when I first found out about this C > E equation, I was both delighted and terrified. Terrified because up until that point, I had created the perfect s**t storm for myself. And of course, the deeper you go into this kind of thinking, the more it leads toward the idea that actually, the sum total of all your conscious and unconscious choices may have led to your problems… So, was I going to create more bad stuff in my life then? But then, I was delighted when I learned to understand how I was creating so many situations I did not prefer; because then I could also learn how to do it differently. And that was exciting to me. Sometimes, the idea that you may actually have created the worst situation or experience in your life can feel like a hard slap across the face. But along with the slap, you also get truth and empowerment delivered to you. I would always prefer that to a feel-good lie wrapped up in a gentle kiss that keeps me stuck…

As for the government and our world leaders, let’s keep in mind that they are only ever a reflection of us as a collective whole. If we change, the government will change too. It’s like I said: if you look at the world outside and find it’s not what you prefer, ask yourself what this might be a reflection of. Heal and change that within yourself. Then, take action in a different way toward what it is that you prefer. Now has never been a better time to do this.

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

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