NLP & Values
Why is it that Politian’s and business leaders constantly talk about values, a value driven approach or having the right values. Well its quite simple, values matter.
Values are the principles which drive our behaviour; they give meaning to our lives. When we engage in projects that resonate with our hearts and minds we are working on something that is connected to our own values.
Our beliefs and values define who we are and what we do. They can be described as the ’set of laws’ that we choose to live by. Yet, how acquainted are we on a daily basis with our own values? Could you set out your 10 most important values in the order they hold importance for you? And more than that, ask yourself are you living your life by them right now, if not this may well be the source of the discomfort or dissatisfaction in your life.
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NLP In Education
Education, education, education. Would you like to have known what you know now when you were at school? The more effective our education of children becomes the longer they, and all of society will reap those benefits. One important element in the transference of knowledge is to understand how people think and then produce behaviour and recognising that everyone is a little different. This is just a part of what NLP can offer.
Whilst many teachers can adapt to individual learning styles, many don’t and presuppose that their students know how to learn without offering them alternative approaches.
In addition because teachers (like parents) are working with children and young adults who are impressionable, students can take things personally and assume something is wrong with themselves or even decide something about themselves which then limits them in some way through the rest of their lives. They can start to devalue learning and school or, they start to believe that they are dumb or a bad student. All of this can also hinder and restrict the success we have in our adult lives. To an extent this is an unavoidable part of the growing up process, but with a better and broader understanding of thinking patterns and behaviour the degree to which this occurs can be limited.
So what are some of the specifics that can be adopted from the NLP tool kit to assist educators?
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Promoting Good Management
Think about a time that you were managed well and a time that you were managed badly in your career. My guess is that when you were being managed well you were being coached. Good management includes coaching; the process of helping your staff to find within themselves the best way of achieving results.
Many people in their working lives don’t get good management training, and yet many people get promoted into management positions because they are a good salesman, a good lawyer, a good accountant and are expected to be naturally capable of managing others to do the job that they used to do as well as deliver results in their new role.
However, I do think that we as individuals need to take responsibility for our own development both personally and professionally. Through that process we often model other people to grow, sometimes we read books or attend seminars. All of that can take us so far, however to take our abilities and understanding deeper sometimes we need more.
One Word Can Make All The Differance
In NLP we focus on language and the words we choose carefully, because just a single word within a sentence can really make the difference between achieving a task OR recognising a learning when there seems to be no other progress. Can you become more aware of the words you use and the impact they may have on your everyday life
So as a parent, I am constantly thinking about how I structure and shape my words and sentences to encourage my 10 year old to do her best and believe in her own abilities.
You may be able to identify with some of the following ’small’ words – here are 3 of my favourites.
Decision Time
My guess is that if you live in the UK you are well aware that in a couple of weeks or so we will have a new government. The choice that you make when you place your cross on your voting slip won’t be the biggest decision that you have ever made but it will accumulate with everyone else’s to bring change, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer. Even if your choice is to not vote, that too will have an effect.
We constantly make choices throughout our lives, some good, some bad, some important, some trivial. Sometimes we even make decisions when in reality we have no right to make those decisions. These can often be made when we have a significant emotional experience or when we are very young. What often happens from there is that we forget that we have made that decision at a conscious level, but unconsciously we act out our lives as if the decision we made is the reality in which we live. Even when the reality is that it is not. Continue Reading »
Re-wire Your Thinking
We are approaching the end of the first quarter for 2010. So how’s that working out for you? Are your New Years’ resolutions being stuck to? Are your goals on track? Wherever you are right now, and no matter how things are going, consider this - if you want to get more of what you want in life and less of what you don’t want then look inside yourself, that is where you will find what you seek.
Resting comfortably between your ears is the planets most sophisticated learning device. Millions of years of evolution has produced this vast neural network which operates by learning and in the process of so doing it re-wires itself, so that old patterns can be un-learned and new pathways laid down. When you know how, achieving your goals is like riding a bike. Continue Reading »
Be-Cause
Who is in control of how your life is working out? Who is responsible? Well I guess you don’t need me to tell you that is YOU. But do you exercise your free will freely or are you at the effect of others around you? It is very rare for an individual to always live his or her life at cause, where they accept full personal responsibility for everything that happens in their life. Nevertheless far too many of us live a large portion of our lives at effect – responding to the requests, outlooks, desires or emotional states of others.
By being at cause you allow yourself to be the decision maker therefore creating what you want in life and taking responsibility for what you have achieved or will achieve based upon your present actions. See the world as a place of opportunity and move towards what you desire, this is a great starting point and if things are not unfolding as you would like, take action and explore other possibilities, draw upon your available resources and above all, remind yourself that you have the choice in what you do and how you react to people and events. Continue Reading »
Reframing Provides A Whole New Perspective
Just as a picture frame puts borders or boundaries on what you can see in a picture, the frames of reference that you choose as a result of your beliefs about yourself and others, your perceived role in life, your perceived limitations in skills/abilities, etc. can limit what you see as possible or can open up all sorts of possibilities. You are continually setting timeframes, boundaries, limits, etc. on what you can and can’t do, often without any real thought about the consequences.
Changing the frame of an experience can have a major influence on how you perceive, understand and react to that experience. Imaging being sat at your desk and your boss tells you, you have one hour to complete a task. This request is more than likely going to result in a different emotional state, haphazard approach and quality of work than if you are told that you have one week to accomplish the same task. This example can illustrate how a change in frame (in this case a timeframe) can have a significant bearing on the choices you make. Changing the frame of reference is called reframing in NLP. Continue Reading »