Let me tell you a short story, it is true though you might not believe me.   My parents know of a couple who had a daughter that they loved very much; she was called Sophie.   The years were kind to this couple and blessed them with another daughter. They had failed to agree on a name for her in the months leading up to the birth so after she was born, and while the mother was recovering in hospital, almost in desperation, she said to her husband, “Oh just call her anything you want.” A fateful phrase, because her husband called the second child Sophie too. One interesting thing about this is that Sophie is the French version of Sophia, in Greek, which means wisdom in English.

Wisdom is about making the best use of knowledge, or put another way it is the application of knowledge and experience to improve wellbeing. So how does one acquire wisdom, how do you know when you have it and what do you then do with it once you’ve got it? It is commonly held that wisdom increases with age but this really must depend on what you do with your life. You could spend your life absorbing many books on a wide variety of subjects, this would increase your knowledge. However, more than just pure knowledge is required for wisdom. You also need experience; I do often say to people on trainings that I don’t want them to believe what I say. The reason for this is that I want you to believe something because you have direct experience of it for yourself not just because someone else tells you. It is having knowledge and direct experience that gives you wisdom, providing that you have learned from your experience and that you can demonstrate that learning by applying it.

As in life in general so it is with NLP; you can read about NLP in books or on websites but if you really want to know about it and how to apply it in your life you need to experience it.   On our training we will give you plenty of knowledge and you get lots of opportunities to experience NLP too. NLP also helps you in the acquisition of knowledge, because it teaches you what the best strategies are for learning; for gathering information more easily and how to assimilate and utilise what you have learned; so that you can improve your life and the lives of those around you. It isn’t just theory it is the application of this for growth in your life.

There are several ways for you to know that you have acquired wisdom. Others will seek you out to ask you for your words of wisdom; you will have self knowledge; you will speak with sincerity, and walk the walk of your talk in your own life. As a Coach having wisdom is one of the reasons that someone else will seek you out to help them in the first place. You will have the tools to help others, the processes for achieving success and your own personal storehouse of acquired wisdom. In fact as you get older wisdom is something you should get more of, rather than less of. It is my son’s birthday this week, the card I got him says “One year older and wiser. Not necessarily true and not true of everyone.” Make it true for you.

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”

Marie Curie

Written by Ewan Mochrie

Virginia Satir was one of the people that was modelled during the creation of NLP. She was a very successful family therapist in the USA in the sixties and seventies. She did say that some of the things that caused problems in relationships were, negative anchors, unfulfilled strategies and double binds. A negative anchor is a stimulus which causes a negative response in you or your partner. So every time your partner says a certain word or phrase or topic or looks at you in a certain way you feel negative emotions. An unfulfilled strategy represents something which you want to actualise in your life through the relationship which your partner isn’t allowing for or assisting with. A double bind is a nice language pattern which gives the illusion of choice, where in fact there is no choice at all; “Would you like to empty the dishwasher or do the ironing after dinner, dear?”

We have high expectations of partner’s, we expect them to make us happy. Maybe because having a good relationship does contribute so much to our happiness. But give your partner a break too. They will never know you as well as you know yourself and the only person that can ever make you happy in life is you. Over a life time people grow and change at different rates, so ask yourself is there space in your relationship for that growth? Of course if you know that you would be happier not in the relationship that you are in already, then change it.

I’m not married to any political faction and my suspicion of Politian’s of all brands runs fairly high. All of their arguments and friendships seem just a little too choreographed for me. It’s like watching WWE wrestling. In NLP one the most important things to calibrate on is behaviour so judge the decisions of your Politian’s by their results. If you have a ‘Special Relationship’ with someone, you will feel more at ease in asking them to do things for you, but sometimes when someone is being nice to us we know they want something else in return. So what is the real long term effect of the US / UK ‘Special Relationship’?

‘How unconditional are your relationships?’

Written by Ewan Mochrie

In NLP we work on the assumption that everyone has the resources that they need to achieve what they want; there are no un-resourceful people only un-resourceful states. So you already have within yourself what you need, to do what you want to do in your life. Yes you can learn new skills or hone existing ones and yes other people can help you to improve too but it is you that does all the learning and the improving. In the last 12 months I have been seeing a personal trainer, he knows what exercises I need to do to improve my body shape and fitness but it’s me that does the work and gets the benefits. All I need is a little application and dedication.

One part of our body that we often neglect to exercise is the grey spongy stuff between our ears. So how do you give that a work out, how do you ensure that you stretch your neurology. I guess there are many ways of doing it, read, interact, play games (even computer ones) or just get yourself thinking. But there is an even better way to give your brain a workout; I read recently that 11 hours of meditation increases the thickness of your brain. This thickness is measurable on brain scans and means you create more grey matter. In case you are wondering the 11 hours do not need to be run consecutively it is the cumulative effect of long term meditation. The effect of this long term mediation is that you become mentally stronger, you can think more clearly, you can focus on tasks more easily and you are more emotionally resilient. Some of the measurable differences in the brain stand out even more in older people. This may well suggest that mediation has a long term benefit to our thinking abilities as we age. There are many different ways to meditate, as one expert said it is both the easiest and the hardest thing to do. It is something that I have done regularly in the past and something which, like physical exercise I am returning to now.

In a world in flux where past certainties are changing we all need to be more flexible, stronger in mind, body and deed. Nurture your ability to fly lest you too go the way of the Dodo.

“Use it or lose it”

Written by Ewan Mochrie

Recently I have heard it said that you are 3 people. Now immediately I thought that this meant Mind, Body and Spirit but it doesn’t. I wouldn’t disagree particularly with the Mind, Body and Spirit concept but that’s for another day. These 3 people that you are refers to something else. “Who you think you are”; “Who other people think you are” and “Who you really are.”

I know that there are some people we come across in life who, from our perspective, seem to think that they are really special and yet we perceive them as not so special. And there are some people in life who we know are special and who may not know it themselves.

So pause for a little and think about it – Who do you think you are? And what is your evidence for thinking this? And how would you know if it wasn’t true? Often times we look around us and we see other people and we think “If only I could be like that”; “I wish I could do that”; “What would my life be like if I was that confident”. Do these people feel inside of themselves how we perceive them to be and if they do, which they very well might, how do we make ourselves like that too.

So let’s start here; tell the people in your life that you respect; that you love; that you admire just exactly what it is that they do that makes you feel that way. Do it. Then sit and think about you; what makes you good at being you; what is it in your life that stops you from being the real you; what would you like to change about who you think you are. Whatever you do just imagine being the best you that you can be; sure take inspiration from others but just work towards being the very best you.

Though this may well sit outside of your awareness right now, you really are more than you think you are. I look back at clients and people who come on my trainings and what I see over the course of their development is that they have grown into more of themselves. What that also means is that the potential for that growth was already there before they started but if you asked them then they would not have been able to see who they really were at the start; and yet that is what they are now. I can even see this in my own development; at each step you think that you have achieved and you have, yet with each unfolding step there is another and another and another step yet to come. Once you decide to set out on this journey you will discover more of who you really are, because whoever you think that you are today, I know that you are more than that.

Spartacus is an inspirational figure but let’s learn from the past and not repeat it, ultimately his plan for freedom failed. Slavery still exists in many forms today, slavery to consumption, slavery to work, debt slavery. Freedom isn’t free and though the fighting for it is something which most of us will not ever need to do, vigilance for our freedoms and expression of freedom is our battlefield.

“Know Thy Self”

Written by Ewan Mochrie

The Concordia was launched in September 2005 and its name was chosen to suggest “continuing harmony, unity, and peace between European nations”. Each of the thirteen decks of the ship was named after one of the principal counties of the European Union. When the ship was launched the champagne bottle failed to break, never a great sign at a ship launch. Interesting enough it also suffered bow damage in the autumn of 2008.

One of the things that we teach on our training is about the use and construction of metaphors. Metaphors are nice tools to convey messages to people; messages which bypass the conscious mind and get understood by the unconscious. The language of the unconscious mind is symbolism so the message is delivered in a non-direct manner, and is understood by the recipient in the way that it affects them personally.

So let’s stand back for a moment and enjoy the beauty of this metaphor that is being offered to us. In fact I think it’s so obvious that it is very strange that more people aren’t making the connection yet. The ship of the European Union, formed in inauspicious circumstances, damaged in autumn 2008 is fatally holed beneath the waterline and crashes in full view of the world in a catastrophic manner. The leader is apparently quick to abandon ship and the people have to help themselves to safety.

Well let’s hope that this is just a coincidence, let’s hope that this is not a metaphor about the unfolding financial crisis and let’s hope that our leaders don’t abandon us to fend for ourselves. However, even if it is a metaphor remember that it also laid out a canvas for real heroes thus highlighting the indomitable sprit of humanity, and although it is very sad for the families of those who died, almost everyone did survive.

“They survived by helping each other and by pulling together, if you want the enduring metaphor let it be that”

Written by Ewan Mochrie

 For knowing what your life will look like on the other side of change can be easy enough. Sometimes it is that very picture of where we want to get to tells us that something now needs to change. What we often struggle with is the how; what do I need to do to have the life that I want, that I deserve. You might read books or watch DVDs or clips on You Tube. But the change that you need to make is driven by action. Your thoughts, your dreams, your desires are created through action. So resolve yourself into action, unrelenting, unstoppable, step after step after step of action. Become the action hero of your life, because by doing that you improve the lives of those around you.

The problems we have seen in 2011 will doubtless continue to play out, financial instability, war, inequality, a dishonest relationship to honesty, will carry on into 2012, because opening a new Dilbert desk diary doesn’t fix them. These problems which we all face to a greater or lesser degree are a sign that our society needs to change and that, in the same way as it is for you as an individual, they are a sign of our collective growth.  They are a sign that we are waking up to the fact that the way we run our lives and our societies needs to change. We are waking up to the reality of reality and it is by doing so that we will change our reality. What can you do to contribute to this; have more awareness of how things work in the world and think for yourself more than you have ever before. Wake yourself from your slumber, rub your eyes and blink and see the world as it is and imagine it the way you want it. Then turn to your partner, your friend and your neighbour and whisper in their ear “wake up” “wake up” “wake up”.

Everything starts with awareness.

Written by Ewan Mochrie

This years bumper addition features stories from our own delegates and their experiences of using NLP, Hypnosis, TLT and Coaching. Along with some inspirational stories and tips to help you along your way.

By clicking the link below you will be able to access our ‘Flip Page’ publication – December 2011 Newsletter.

http://flipflashpages.uniflip.com/3/56204/120753/pub/index.html

Enjoy – And Merry Christmas from the Inspire 360 Team

As I have mentioned before we all have things which are important to us in life; things that tend to motivate us to do what we do; how we judge right and wrong.  These are our values.  This is an important aspect about ourselves and about others that we need to understand, because it has far reaching effects on our lives and on our societies.  As you go deeper into understanding people, behaviour, values, and how they develop and evolve over time you can see certain interesting patterns emerge and as you become aware of these your sense of what is going in life grows and deepens.  What is important about that is that you can apply this learning to improve your own life and through that those around you, even organisations and corporations and through all of that society itself.  

The statistics on pay are just the surface indication of something deeper.  Something that is obvious and yet infrequently addressed. Fundamentally it’s about self expression and sacrificing self for your group.  In reality of course neither is right nor wrong; it’s about both and how do you balance both.  Look at your own life for a moment.  Are you living a life that is self expressive or do you perceive more value in sacrificing self for your group; be that family, friends, corporations, country or religion.

Individuals are encouraged to earn and prosper and our taxation system redistributes wealth to encourage the whole to prosper.  Your lungs bring oxygen into your body and your blood redistributes it around so that all parts of your body flourish.  What is important, of course is that the taxation system does that and that everyone pays their taxes… joyfully (well almost).  This system runs into trouble when the wealthiest avoid reasonable taxation or where the incentive for wealth creation is dimmed.

So what’s the solution?  Well that still depends upon what you think the problem is.  Let us start by remembering that there is precious little in life that you can do or achieve without the help of and the interaction with others; we all need each other, and that doesn’t end with our family, friends, corporation, country or religion.  Our self interest needs be directed to serve the whole.

Written By Ewan Mochrie

Working to engender change in others is very similar. Your mind is a like a black box too, there are leavers to pull, dials to turn and gauges to check and you don’t really know if the problem is fixed unless you get the results in your life that you want. What you search for is the root cause of any discomfort and deal with that, then test that the presenting problem also clears up. That way the magic of a successful change programme is revealed. So how do you find the root cause? With individuals the signals that you need to read to unlock the workings of someone else’s black box is within their physiology, their eyes and their words. When you know how you can read subtle changes in someone else’s physiology that will indicate to you important changes in their thinking. Peoples eye movements give away how unconscious material is being brought into conscious awareness. Together with these observations your language is a deep indicator of the structure of your thinking. It is how you describe what you experience to yourself and to others.

Paying particularly close attention to these clues and how they interact with each other; together with a little bit of careful questioning and reframing (placing events and situations in a different context) is usually enough to unlock the secrets of the black box. And once you do this, then the change you want now is easier than you think. However, it does need a few other factors which help too. Whoever you are working with needs to be honest with you and themselves and they need to fully surrender to the therapeutic process. For some people that can be harder than you might think. Your right thinking rational conscious mind is what has brought you to where you are today, letting go and trusting, can be a challenge for some. But once you learn to trust yourself you can open up to more of your own potential, can’t you.

We can let the economists and politicians argue over the presenting problems and the root causes of Euro zone’s ailment. Though rest assured that unless heavily indebted countries deal with the causes of their problems and re-wire their economies then this issue isn’t over yet. Solutions there are plenty, let’s hope decision makers know that we are in this together and we can only get out of it together.

Written by Ewan Mochrie

So what makes any of this relevant to you and me? One of the quotes that I read which motivated me to make changes in my life was from a scientist, Buckminster Fuller “You never change anything by fighting the existing reality. To change something build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” My guess is that if these light speed results are confirmed we won’t be travelling back in time; instead our models of the universe will be re-built, bottom up, with or without boxer shorts. In fact I think there are already people who have the answers, only nobody is yet taking them seriously.

On another level NLP itself also arose from radical, boundary challenging thinking. It has been uncovered and codified by people who thought for themselves and who did not just want to go with the flow of what was generally accepted. From that mind set has come a wonderful array of communication, personal development and change techniques.

So science may be facing up to some big changes, but change keeps life interesting. Of course, sometimes interesting can just be a reframe for what is threatening, scary or downright unpleasant. Nevertheless change is the ever present; it beats out the pattern and rhythm of our lives. Sometimes fighting against that change only stores up tension which will inevitably be released at some point in the future. Released in a way that is explosive, dramatic and eye catchingly sensational.

In your life there may have been times when you needed to re-write the rules that you were running your life by. You may have already faced up to change. But if you were able for a moment right now to stop time or to rewind if, where in your life would you go? To what crucial turning point in your life would you return and what advice would you like to give yourself. Well I’m not going to tell you that you can go back in time using NLP but you can certainly change decisions you have made about yourself in the past so that you can have the future that you want.

Written By Ewan Mochrie