Reframing Provides A Whole New Perspective

Posted on January 29th, 2010.

Just as a picture frame puts borders or boundaries on what you can see in a picture, the frames of reference that you choose as a result of your beliefs about yourself and others, your perceived role in life, your perceived limitations in skills/abilities, etc. can limit what you see as possible or can open up all sorts of possibilities. You are continually setting timeframes, boundaries, limits, etc. on what you can and can’t do, often without any real thought about the consequences.
Changing the frame of an experience can have a major influence on how you perceive, understand and react to that experience. Imaging being sat at your desk and your boss tells you, you have one hour to complete a task.  This request is more than likely going to result in a different emotional state, haphazard approach and quality of work than if you are told that you have one week to accomplish the same task. This example can illustrate how a change in frame (in this case a timeframe) can have a significant bearing on the choices you make. Changing the frame of reference is called reframing in NLP.

The purpose of reframing is to help a person experience their actions, the impact of their beliefs, etc. from a different perspective (frame) and potentially become more resourceful, imagine giving someone through NLP coaching or therapy the opportunity of more choice in how they react.
Examples of Reframes:

  • Politicians are masters at reframing. It seems no matter what happens, they can put a positive spin on it for themselves or a negative spin for their opponents.
  • Fairy tales often use reframes to help children see different perspectives or consequences – ‘crying wolf’.
  • An excuse is a reframe that attributes a different meaning or context to your behaviours.

Some famous reframes:

  • During the 1984 campaign, there was considerable concern about Ronald Reagan’s age. Speaking during the presidential debate with Walter Mondale, Reagan said “I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.” Reagan’s age was not an issue for the remainder of the campaign!
  • There is a story about Thomas Watson Sr., the first President of IBM. A young worker had made a mistake that lost IBM $1 M in business. She was called in to the President’s office and as she walked in said, “Well, I guess you have called me here to fire me.” “Fire you?” Mr. Watson replied, “I just spent $1 M on your education!”
  • A father brought his head-strong daughter to see Milton Erickson – the famous hypnotherapist. He said to Erickson, “My daughter doesn’t listen to me or her mother. She is always expressing her own opinion.” After the father finished describing his daughter’s problem, Erickson replied, “Now isn’t it good that she will be able to stand on her own two feet when she is ready to leave home?” The father sat in stunned silence. That was the extent of the therapy — the father now saw his daughter’s behaviour as a useful resource later in her life.

NLP Reframes

In NLP, there are two basic forms of reframes – content (or meaning) and a context reframes.

Content Reframe:

The content or meaning of a situation is determined by what you choose to focus on.  A content reframe is useful for statements such as:

‘I get nervous when my boss stands behind me while I am working.’ Notice how the person has taken the situation and given it a specific meaning – which may or may not be true and is restricting how resourceful they can be and possible courses of action. To reframe this example, keep in mind the NLP presupposition ‘Every behaviour has a positive intention’ and consider this:

  • What other meaning could the boss’ behaviour have? Or for what purpose does he do it? A possible reframe might be: ‘Is it possible he wants to help and does not know how to offer his assistance in any other way?’
  • What is the positive value in this behaviour? The positive value could be related to the boss’ behaviour (as above) or it could be related to the speaker’s behaviour. A possible reframe might be: ‘Isn’t it great that you know your boundaries and are not prepared to allow someone to violate them?’

Context Reframe:

Almost all behaviours are useful or appropriate in some context.  A context reframe is useful for statements such as: ‘I am too pushy.’ or ‘I wish I didn’t focus on what could go wrong.’ In this type of situation, your client/coachee has assumed that this type of behaviour has no value. It is your role as a Coach/Therapist/Friend to discover when it is of value by asking yourself the question ‘When or where would this behaviour be useful or viewed as a resource?’ A possible reframe might be: ‘Isn’t that a great skill to have when you need to get things done or to avoid potential problems?’ Once you have your client in a more resourceful state, you can then guide them to discover behaviours that may be more appropriate.

Reframing For Parenting

Children exhibit all sorts of behaviours – some appropriate and some not so appropriate. Focusing mainly on a child’s inappropriate behaviours, may result in the child feeling overly criticised or told off; resulting in an increase in problem behaviour, low self-esteem or the child becoming overly defensive. As an alternative option for a parent may be to:

  • Assume every behaviour has a positive intention, the parent may choose to discover the positive intention. Then the parent can discuss with the child other behaviours that would meet both the parent’s and child’s needs. (Content Reframe)
  • The parent may point out where or in what context that type of behaviour is acceptable; thus validating to the child that their behaviours are useful in certain contexts. (Context Reframe)

In Conclusion

When presenting a reframe to another person:

  • Make sure you have rapport and their permission to offer it.
  • You may believe your reframe is the best ever and yet it may not work for the other person because they have a different model of the world than you do. Remember the NLP presupposition - ‘There is no failure, only feedback’ – and explore other possible reframes.
  • If you present the reframe in the form of a question or a metaphor (story), it will most likely be more fully considered by your client than if you present it as a statement of fact.
  • The best you can do is to ask someone to consider your reframe and then they can choose whether or not it reframes his/her experience.