NLP & Values
Why is it that Politian’s and business leaders constantly talk about values, a value driven approach or having the right values. Well its quite simple, values matter.
Values are the principles which drive our behaviour; they give meaning to our lives. When we engage in projects that resonate with our hearts and minds we are working on something that is connected to our own values.
Our beliefs and values define who we are and what we do. They can be described as the ’set of laws’ that we choose to live by. Yet, how acquainted are we on a daily basis with our own values? Could you set out your 10 most important values in the order they hold importance for you? And more than that, ask yourself are you living your life by them right now, if not this may well be the source of the discomfort or dissatisfaction in your life.
Values = Motivation
Whilst we all have our own unique value systems, it is likely that many of your friends and family will share comparable values to yours. Once you move outside this circle, such as you place of work, you will meet people who do not share similar values to your own.
Some values in NLP are referred to as core values. These are the values that are relevant to the majority of areas of your life. Your core values will affect what you say, think, feel and determine the actions you take. A group of work colleagues may view the same situation differently, because their personal values inform them differently. One person might see the situation as a chance to explore new opportunities, another as a chance to use their creativity, the third person (who values security) may see only all the pitfalls and risks involved.
Discovering Your True Values (Exercise)
STEP 1:
Start thinking about the things you value most. Use this list to help guide you, and add your own values to it.
Achievement, Freedom, Justice, Security, Adventure, Growth, Kindness, Self-discipline, Beauty, Happiness, Knowledge, Self-esteem, Charity, Health, Leadership, Service, Community, Honesty, Love, Spirituality, Wealth, Creativity, Honour, Peace, Strength, Dignity, Humility, Power, Supportiveness, Ethics, Independence, Pride, Surrender, Family, Individuality, Reason, Trust, Friendship, Integrity, Respect, Truth, Fun, Intimacy, Risk, Wisdom, Success.
STEP 2:
Choose the 10 most important values to you. Beside each one write the reason why this quality is important to you. For example, you may write ‘Creativity is important to me because…It lets me express myself.’ ‘Freedom is important to me because…I want to decide what I do.’
STEP 3:
When you have listed your values and the reason why they are important to you, then number them in order of priority. If you cannot decide whether you rate one quality over another, write the individual words on pieces of paper and put them face upwards on the palms of each hand. Look at each in turn and balance them as if they were in weighing scales until an outright winner emerges. Repeat this until you have your values rated in order of priority.
You may have just discovered that what you thought you valued the most in life isn’t quite at the top of your list, so remember that values are what make us the way we are. They drive us and provide motivation for how we live our lives. When we know what our values are, and are aware of the behaviour that creates from holding those values, we can make clearer decisions about what’s important to us and what we want in life.